linktoo-doodles:

Your (Obedient) Servant | tntduo animatic

(via pomodoko)

zwoelffarben:

poetry-protest-pornography:

arrghigiveup:

The comments and responses on this post are amazing

I’m c r y i n g

Oh my godddd

Nadia Cakes didn’t win Cupcake wars to receive this disrespect, but damn if that ain’t a vagina with teeth.

(via ser-corviknight)

glassesmcfancyhair:

feminist-pussycat:

theriu:

randomslasher:

weirdcultstuff:

I love being an adult because you know what actually happens when you run your car into a curb and scratch up the bumper?

Nothing. You get it fixed, or you don’t. Whatevs.

You know what actually happens when you are depressed or sick or on your period and don’t cook dinner?

Nothing. You still get to eat something, nobody scolds you, it doesn’t have any real bearing on your future success, and you don’t get soft shunned for a week by your family.

You know what actually happens when you break stuff, forget stuff, get sick, fall asleep, are rude, miss a flight, don’t know how to do XYZ thing on fixing cars or canning food or whatever, lose things, get lost because you can’t read a map and forgot to charge your phone, buy the wrong groceries, plant the wrong plants, not make your bed, make your bed wrong, jump on your bed, sleep on your bed, eat crackers in your bed, have emotions literally anywhere?

Nothing.

Nothing happens.

No one is mad.

No one can hurt you, and if they do there are laws saying they can’t and that it’s an actual crime with legal consequences.

All there are are outcomes and different paths and different problems and different situations and you just bumble your way forward into dealing with those and that’s it. That’s the whole thing. It’s not the wrong choice, having problems isn’t indicative of your inherent badness or inadequacy or lack of applying yourself. It’s just life, and it’s happening to literally everyone.

I’m not even kidding.

You just do stuff and nothing bad happens. Walk around existing? Nothing bad will happen. Wild.

You can cry. In public. And the most likely outcome is not that you will get taken away to receive the beating of your lifetime, it is that people will mostly ignore you and some will be kinder to you. 🤯

On Saturday I got pulled over because it turned out I’d been driving on expired tags for a year and hadn’t even noticed.

I got told to “take care of it soon please” and let go with a warning. Today I went to the DMV and paid a $5 late fee along with the 2-year fee for registration, got new plates and stickers and that was that.

A year late. No big deal. No one was shocked or appalled. It was just a thing that happened and then I took care of it. No biggie.

Turns out, people expect you to make mistakes because they’re people and they make them too. More often than not, you can just fix them and move on.

Thank you for this lovely positive post!

I need to remember this 😚

Guys, even the “big stuff” is fixable.

Do you know what happens if you forget to file your income taxes one year (look, I was still drinking pretty heavily, I forgot a lot of things that year)?

Literally nothing, the IRS has a little section on their site that reads “did you forget to file? Just file within 3 years to avoid any fines.”

People mess up. We make mistakes. There is almost always a mechanism to fix them.

It’s going to be ok.

(via pomodoko)

luckticket:

vampiresinvienna:

Me: Doctor, why is that syringe filled with glitter?
Doctor: Anaesthetic.

(via aromanticgoldfish-deactivated202)

prismatic-bell:

sindri42:

gummybearattacktheworldofdespair:

Shouldn’t have made it so bouncy then.

This was supposed to be for WAR?

(via ser-corviknight)

(via koscheiy)

mattchewpicchu:

carnation-damnation:

Dead ass I didn’t realize this was about covid for a sec and thought this dude was hella passionate about underage drinking

(via briizer)

doggendoodle:

sapper-in-the-wire-old:

oblivionofthewise:

brofligate:

sapper-in-the-wire-old:

brofligate:

brofligate:

I’m watching Pingu right now and wow how did I forget that Pingu once tried to recreate the Tower of Babel.

Would love to hear the Vatican’s opinions on this.

they are animals, and thus free of sin. In fact, doctrinally, animals give glory to God merely by existing so. Pingu’s fine

But by creating a tower tall enough to reach God’s kingdom, would they achieve sin?

“At one famous trial in Autun, France, in 1522, some rats were charged with feloniously eating and wantonly destroying the province’s barley crop and so were ordered to appear in court. “ if rats can commit crimes, penguins can sin

That’s French courts though. France is a perversion of every law, moral, or truth known to man or heaven.

(via mischief-and-maryment)

verylostpenguin:

verylostpenguin:

verylostpenguin:

verylostpenguin:

It’s my grandpa’s birthday next week and he said “I don’t want to be 85” and my grandmother, his wife of 59 and a half years, said “well your only alternative is to die”, I can’t believe how affectionate they are

I was having lunch with them today and my grandpa started throwing napkins at my grandmother, and she balled it up and looked all set to throw it back but then she put it down and said “I will not throw it because I was brought up properly, you were dragged” she has spent ¾ of her life with this man

I thought I’d let you know how they’ve been getting on during lockdown, so here’s some of the FaceTime conversation from today:

“My goodness, the way technology is advancing - in 20 years we’ll be able to shake hands through the screen!”

“Rex, I don’t think we’ll be here in 20 years.”

“Well you can make your own plans, I shall only be 109.”

What’s up friends, it’s been 3 years, grandpa has made it to 88 and they’ve been married 62.5 years! Please enjoy another instalment:

Grandpa: the new packs are.. it’s.. what is it. It self destructs

Grandma : biodegradable, Rex.

(via aromanticgoldfish-deactivated202)

saxifraga-x-urbium:

joasakura:

elizabethplaid:

fuckyeahstsebastian:

(video tweet: https://twitter.com/Etherelle/status/1484410925490708481?s=20)

the work of etherelle: https://t.co/dPhLw3xuRx (carrd)

happy belated st sebastian day. no idea how to tag this.

The eyes here really seal the deal, though the toothpick-arrow is also a nice touch.

Also reminds me of the story that was circulating around awhile ago, where the narrator had made some sort of jam-filled bread effigy of Jesus for Easter or somesuch.

@gallusrostromegalus !!!

what the entire fuck happened to my side blog last night why does this post have 8000 odd notes

(via odin-n-out)

kawacy:

Dolores

galacticenkidulgaa:

kissed-by-the-fallen-angel:

just-shower-thoughts:

If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday it could also be known as “2’s Day”

DUDE

CLUB GOIN UP

ON A 

̶̴̲̜͚̲͍̺̰̠͓̰̳̖̞̙̥̻̪͟２̶̛͍̖͙̥̹͍̰͕̘͖̤̮̙͔̝̣̠͡͠＇̧̨͉̭͙͔̗̻̹̣͙̱̜̝͍̹͙͙Ｓ̶̷̲̠̥̘̱̼̮̞̥̥̭̕͢͠ ̡̖͎̹͙͍͙͈̞̲͠͝ͅ ̛͏͞҉̤̪͔͙̥̪̬̭ͅͅＤ̡͍̥̝̻͍͕̭̠̳̺̯͖͢͞Ａ̵̡̧̯͔̭̹͍̰̫͍̘̝̺Ｙ̢̙͙̥̣̬̗̱͓̠̹̝̟̤͟͡͠

(via midorichan12)

thyrell:

hershellaytonlovespuzzles:

plasmalogical:

iwam-swim:

mobchoir-99:

here’s the mp100 opening recorded onto vhs and back ;)

pure slapper

if id seen this when i was 10 i would have been vaporized

@doctorfab

(via kurapiki)

magimagali:

mew mew

(via emesis-blu)